19 and Engaged

      The average reaction when people hear we're engaged is, "Wow! You're pretty young aren't you?" or "Hm... Are your parents ok with this?"

     Unfortunately, this isn't a totally unreasonable response to the knowledge that two nineteen-year-olds are planning on getting married. What is more unfortunate, is the idea of a nineteen-year-old couple moving in together without the commitment is more acceptable in our society.

Yeah. That's sad.

Here's my answer to both of the above questions - Yes and yes!!

      The truth is, we ARE young. But we've both been raised to understand the seriousness of marriage and choosing a life-long partner. We were homeschooled and were raised by parents that took the idea of dating/courtship very seriously. Dating, in our minds, has always been for only one reason; to see whether or not the other person is a good match for marriage. Therefore, we spent the majority of our courtship at our families' homes; making dinner, watching movies, and playing games. Occasionally, we did spend some time alone together, but not very often.

And you know what? It was fun!

      I can honestly say that I'm good friends with Kyle's parents and I know he can say the same of mine. Not only that, but he has earned the acceptance of every one of my siblings, which is hard to do since I'm one of nine!

     While we know it's one of the best blessings, we also understand that marriage is difficult. We're going to fight, and we're going to get annoyed with each other. Sometimes, it'll be hard to remember WHY we love each other. Society has taught us that love is something that you feel; something that you shouldn't have to work for. That isn't how it works! Marriage lasts because people work hard to love each other. Love is being selfless not selfish. It's when you put the other person's feelings above your own. Sure, it'll be frustrating at times, but we have an awesome support system of family and friends that will help us get through rough patches, because there are always rough patches.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen. 2:24) 

     This doesn't mean that I don't have the butterflies-in-my-stomach feelings when I see Kyle or hold his hand; I definitely do! It just means that after 20 years, I'll still be excited to see him when he walks in the door after work. I'll still want to make him his favorite dessert, and I'll still look forward to spending time with my best friend. And if the time comes when I'm feeling like it'd be easier to give up,  I'll pray that God gives me the selflessness to consider my husband before myself and remember why I chose to marry him in the first place.

    That's what marriage is. It's choosing the person that you share your happiness and your hurts with, your goofiness and your seriousness; it's knowing that you'll be there for that person when they need you because no matter what happens they'd do the same for you. The only thing that should be more important than each other, is each person's personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Jesus + selflessness = a successful marriage! 

    You may be thinking, "This all sounds lovely, but it's harder than you'd think!" That's also true. There will be many occasions when I will fail to be selfless. It's human nature and VERY hard to fight. All I can say is that I hope when those moments of weakness come, that Kyle will remember why he chose to marry me!